These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America

> > These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and

> > are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down

>and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying

>calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

> > WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

> > ______________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

> > WITNESS: July 18th.

> > ATTORNEY: What year?

> > WITNESS: Every year.

> > _____________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

> > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at

>all?

> > WITNESS: Yes.

> > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

> > WITNESS: I forget.

> > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something

you

>forgot?

> > _____________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

> > WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

> > ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

> > WITNESS: Forty-five years.

> > _____________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

>morning?

> > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

> > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

> > WITNESS: My name is Susan.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in

>voodoo?

> > WITNESS: We both do.

> > ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

> > WITNESS: We do.

> > ATTORNEY: You do?

> > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in

his

>sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

> >

> > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

> > ___________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

> >

> > WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one..

> > ________________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

> >

> > WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

> > WITNESS: Yes.

> > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

> > WITNESS: Uh....

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

> > WITNESS: Yes.

> > ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

> > WITNESS: None.

> > ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

> > WITNESS: By death.

> > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

> > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had

> > a beard.

> > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

>deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

> >

> > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed

on

>dead people?

> > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did

you

>go to?

> > WITNESS: Oral.

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

> > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

> > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? >

> > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was

>doing an autopsy on him!

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

> >

> > WITNESS: Huh?

> > ______________________________________

> >

> > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you

check

>for a pulse?

> > WITNESS: No.

> > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

> > WITNESS: No.

> > ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?

> > WITNESS: No.

> > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when

>you began the autopsy?

> > WITNESS: No.

> > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

> > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

> > ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,

>nevertheless?

> > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

>practicing law.